Not letting you go by, Amy Lim Su Yen

Section B: Continuous Writing

[50 marks]

Write a composition of about 350 words on one of the following topics.

2. Write a story beginning with:

“I was lucky to be alive”

Not letting you go

By, Amy Lim Su Yen

“I was lucky to be alive” I told my mother although in my heart I know perfectly well that it has nothing to do with luck. My mother adjusted the pillow and she placed the blanket over me. “Yes, Laura. Luck and blessing was on your side” she agreed to my statement. I forced a smile at her because my heart was carrying a lot of guilt. I stared out the window for a while and watched the leaves falling from the huge tree outside.

Suddenly, I can hear Dr. Crawford’s voice coming from outside. He was saying something to the nurse before he entered the room. “Hello, Laura. How are you feeling today?” he greeted me warmly as soon as he entered the room. I forced another smile at him, “Great, doctor”. Ever since I woke up and answered questions such as how are you feeling today a thousand white lies has already been told. Every single time I answered great, fine, alright or similar I was in fact lying through the gap of my teeth.

“If you are feeling fine then that is absolutely swell. What do you think of going home, Laura?” the doctor asked me. I looked at him, excited a little. “You mean I can be discharged?” I asked him back. He nodded and that is by far the best thing I have heard from anyone so far. The doctor smiled, knowing that it is exactly the thing I was longing to hear from him. “You can go home this evening my dear but if you were to feel unwell anytime at anywhere you will have to come back immediately. Do you understand?” he said firmly.

I nodded and smiled, this time it was genuine. “Before I forget, Mrs. Brickfield may I have a little talk with you outside?” Dr. Crawford asked my mother. 

Both of them left the room, leaving me all alone. I can finally stop pretending for now since they are not around. I can stop pretending that I am happy to be alive. I can stop pretending that everything is fine. I can stop faking my smiles. I can just be myself now.

My mind drifted off to another place. I was thinking of that night. A night that I would rather forget but I do not think it will be possible to forget what has happened that night. Suddenly, my heart aches knowing that I am alive while he is still lying in bed at the emergency ward. Tears started to stream down at the side of my cheeks. I clenched both my fist together. I shut my eyes and life images of the incident flashed before me. 

Everything is so clear, as though it is all happening again.

“Are you ready to leave, Laura?” he asked me, peeping into the room. I turned to face him and smiled widely. “How do I look?” I asked him. His sea green eyes were just staring at me. “Tom? Earth calling to Tom, are you here?” I waved my hands in front of him. He swallowed something, most probably his saliva and smiled sheepishly. “I am just speechless” he answered me. “Is that supposed to be good or bad?” I asked.  He laughed, “Well, does it matter anyway? Nobody is going to care how you look like, right?” he teased.

I played along with him and pretended to be cross. “Fine then let us see if a silent treatment will change your mind” I said out loud. “Come on, Laura. Be a sport” Tom said but I just walked out the door silently. Both of us walked silently down the street, well that is because I am giving him the silent treatment. Tom whistled while we stopped in front of the pedestrian walk. The road was clear but it was not our turn to cross the road 

so we waited patiently.

My lips were sealed and I remained silent. “So what time do you think the party will finish tonight, Laura?” Tom asked, trying to get me to talk to him again. I pretended not to hear him. “Come on, Laura. You have ignored me as far as two blocks down this road already. Fine, you look stunning alright” he finally could not stand the silent treatment I was giving him. I smiled, “We finish at ten o’ clock tonight. Well, at least that is what the rest of the drama club informed me”.

He looked at me in the eyes and pinched my cheeks, “So you finally want to talk to me”. “Hey, it hurts” I protested. Just then, the lights turned green. I was going to cross the road. Suddenly, “Laura watch out” Tom shouted and he quickly wrapped me around his body at the speed of light. Then both of us were hit by something because we were being thrown forward. Everything else is nothing but a pitch black picture.

My bed is wet from my tears. It was my fault. I know it is and because of me he is lying in critical condition right now. I need to see him. My knees were injured slightly and insufficient to disable my walking abilities. No other part of me was injured, not even a scratch and no it has nothing to do with luck. It was Tom. Without Tom my parents will most probably be mourning over their dead daughter at a Christian cemetery now.

I walked to the Intensive Care Unit ward. My heart is beating as fast as the time that is ticking every second of our lives. His lower body was covered in gauze and both his legs in a cast. My hands covered my mouth, preventing me from crying out loud. I was about to enter then I realized his parents are inside. Their eyes were very red, most probably due to excessive crying. I stood silently at the side of the door.

“Tom, my baby” weep Mrs. Anderson. I watched her from outside. She is crying while sitting by Tom’s side. 

Mr. Anderson placed his hands on her shoulder and comforted her. “He will be alright, Susan. Our Tom is a strong and brave young lad” he assured her but his voice was breaking and I can see the fear he has in his eyes.  “It is all her fault. If it was not for Laura” said Mrs. Anderson. My knees weakened as tough losing its energy. “There, there Susan let us not blame anyone for what has happened. Everything will be alright, Tom will be alright. We do not want him to hear this. You know Tom likes Laura a lot and he will not blame her for it” Mr. Anderson told her.

“Yes but I blame her and I will not allow my son to see her ever again” those words she said was like a dagger piercing through my heart. I walked away from the ward as fast as I could. She is right, absolutely right. It was my fault that all this has happened to him and even if he does recover nothing will be the same again. I will avoid him if it makes things better for the both of us. I promise not to see him again nor talk to him again. I am just a bad omen for Tom. I know I am.

It has been three years since that incident happened. Three years I have tried my best to avoid seeing Tom. I avoided studying the same subjects as he does. I gave up all my favourite subjects because they are the same as his. I stopped attending drama club activities so that Tom could continue after he came back to school. I tried my best to give back to him even though I know I will not be able to repay him the leg he lost. I will never be able to take his place and live my life with a piece metal as my left leg.

“Look at me Laura. Look at me and tell me you do not want to see me again” Tom said and I came back to reality. I stare at him in the eyes and tears were streaming down my face. “Why, Tom? Why are you here? Why must you enter History class? You know you hate History and why are you in here with me?” I asked him while both of us are sitting on the school’s sick bay, facing each other. “I am here because I want to know you hate me and that is the reason why you have been avoiding me for the past three years ever since that incident happened. Tell me the truth, Laura. Do you hate me? Is it because of my leg?” he asked me.

“No Tom, I do not hate you but it is best for us not to talk or see each other. I am the cause of what happened to you and I do not want anything else to happen again” I said, my voice shaking. Tom wiped the tears away from my eyes and whispered to me, “I want to be with you Laura. Please, stop avoiding me. It hurts my heart to see you suffer like this”. “I am not suffering. I am fine” I lied. “You are a bad liar, Laura. Do you think every time you were looking at me secretly at the hall way I was not aware of it? You think I do not know that you stop studying all your favourite subjects because of me? Not to mention the drama club activities that you are missing. You wanted to become the best theater arts performer did you not? You promised me that the both of us would be the best performers in history. What happened to that promise?” Tom said and his voice was shaking as well.

“I am sorry, Tom but……”Tom interrupted me before I finished my sentence. “No more excuses, Laura. Please, I will not let go off you again. That day I held on to you is because I do not want to lose you and I was not letting you go and neither would I now because I am lucky to be alive” he whispered into my ears. I hugged him tightly not letting go of him either. Those words he just said has filled the emptiness of my heart all this while. Tom is right we should appreciate the luck we have with each other.  We are both lucky. “Lucky to be alive”

1789 words

One hour